Every morning, the first thing I do when I arrive at the office is check the messages left during my absence. One morning, I found three messages from the same parents. I had seen their child the day before and prescribed medication; however, they couldn’t get it because the pharmacy was closed. To fix this problem, I would need to send the medication to another pharmacy. I immediately called the parents.
– “Hello, good morning. This is Doctor Natalie Vega. I see there was an issue with the medication I sent…”
– “I can’t believe it took you this long to answer the messages, you are a doctor and need to take better care of your patients. This is serious—my child is sick. Do you think we leave messages to bother you? I’m going to escalate this complaint. Can you give me a good reason for not responding to my messages?”
– “I’m sorry about what happened, I wasn’t in the office and couldn’t receive your messages.”
– “This is not an acceptable answer from a doctor. We never had this problem with Dr. X.”
-“I apologize again for the inconvenience; I called to check which pharmacy you want to send the medication to now…”
By the end of the call, my heart was racing, my hands were sweating, and I felt a knot in my chest, the same feeling I get when I want to cry. I was embarrassed and sad. I replayed the situation, wondering what I could have done differently. Next time, I could double-check pharmacy hours, or perhaps call the pharmacies to confirm if they are open. On the other hand, I rationalize that with only 10 minutes per sick encounter, there isn’t time to call each pharmacy. Finally, I decided to write down the hours of the pharmacies in the area for future reference.
In the first four months of practicing pediatrics, despite my enthusiasm and desire to do everything for my patients, I’ve found that sometimes my efforts go unappreciated. I’ve also realized how hurtful it can feel to be rejected by those I want to help. Although treating children is an altruistic profession, it’s rewarding to feel appreciated by patients/parents. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I like to be liked, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Psychological studies have shown that our behavior is influenced by what we think others believe about us. When we feel appreciated, we may be motivated to work harder. On the other hand, feeling unappreciated or rejected can lead to discouragement and even underperformance. We all know someone who had a bad experience with a physician, I’ve heard “The doctors don’t care about their patients anymore”. I wonder how much of this was influenced by previous rejection or underappreciation.
As a newly graduated pediatrician, I want to give my best and not let rejection discourage me. There’s no easy way to deal with rejection other than acknowledging that it’s a part of life. People are different and think differently, every day, the way we behave is subject to interpretation and, consequently, to misinterpretation. If I’ve learned anything from my single years, is that you must choose to like yourself, even if others don’t. The goal isn’t to be liked by patients/parents but to provide the best care possible. Mistakes will happen (we’re only human), but if we stay true to our goal, we’ll improve over time and hopefully experience less rejection.
Amazing 👏 honestly I have felt this way several times. Our patients affections are unfortunately insufficient motivation to do what we do.
Beautiful Natalie. I hope your don’t ever lose your willingness to be vulnerable in the pursuit of truth and a better future.