Getting away from the complaining mode

At the start of residency, everyone seems to have an expectation of what it means to be a pediatrician. Surprisingly, residency is not what is shown in Grey’s Anatomy TV show. While working 80 hours per week, writing a research project, and collaborating on a QI project, we are confronted with a different reality. As a result of the frustration, many fall into the complaining mode; “the schedule is too hard, too much paperwork, colleagues or patients are being rude.” It seems like going to work is a job for a martyr. I’ve heard residents say that if given the choice again, they would not choose medicine as a career.

In his book “Better,” Atul Gawande gave 5 suggestions for becoming a better physician. The one that surprised me the most was: Don’t complain. “Wherever doctors gather – in meeting rooms, conference halls, hospital cafeterias – the natural pull of conversational gravity is toward the litany of woes around us. But resist it. It’s boring, does not solve anything, and will get you down.”

I have been pondering on this message since I read it. I have often been trapped in the complaining mode as well; how can we get away from it? So far, I’ve come up with 2 strategies.

1. Look for reasons to be grateful. I know it’s hard to find a reason to be thankful when you are exhausted from work, but if you think hard, you will always find one reason. Think about the smile of that 4-year-old kid you saw today, the gratitude of the parents, or a fun moment with your colleagues. You are lucky to be in a position of service to the most vulnerable human beings. What you do makes a difference; you should feel grateful for this.
2. Remember your motive. The reasons why we choose medicine are different for each of us; sometimes, there can be more than one. Common reasons include the desire to help, an interest in science and the human body, the pursuit of status, or because of money. Whatever it is, I will quote Nietzsche: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” In this context: If you know why you practice pediatrics, the trials and inconveniences won’t matter because you are fulfilling your motive. You can take anything.

I believe that not complaining will make you a better physician and a happier person. When you start changing your perspective, you will notice how the world starts changing too. It depends on each of us to make the hospitals or clinics where we are a better place. Let us make a promise today not to complain. Feel free to comment on any other ideas to get away from the complaining mode.